Ok, let’s start with the Bernard Pivot Questionaire.

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I just built a website and boy are my brains tired. I’ll get deep and confessional later. For now, I just want to go quick and dirty.

1. What is your favorite word?

Off the top of my head, I’ll say MONSTER. I loved creature features as a kid (I guess I still do.) I discovered a fun thing about the word while studying Italian. “Mostrare” means “to show.” I know, the “n” is missing but it got added in along the way before it became an English word. It is related to “Demonstration.” A MONSTER is a spectacle (though in my opinion, scariest when unseen.)

2. What is your least favorite word?

I detest gatekeeper words like cool, hip, patriotic, righteous, and woke. They have good beneficial uses, but people often them to raise themselves up at the expense of others. “What I like is cool and what I don’t is unhip.” “I’m righteous, but you’re a sinner!” “I’m patriotic, but you’re UnAmerican!” “I’m woke, but you’re problematic.” It’s ugly.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?

Seeing people do amazing things. Hearing the truth spoken clearly and without fear. Acts of love. Beauty. My friends. A great joke.

4. What turns you off?

Arrogance, divisiveness and cruelty.

5. What is your favorite curse word?

My favorite part of cursing is context. I love it when benign words are combined to be profane. Pin me down, I would have to say “Fuck” for its versatility.

6. What noise do you love?


7. What sound do you hate?

The velcro-like sound of my shoes sticking to the floor of a poorly-maintained bathroom.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I’ve had so many day jobs. My favorite was lecturing on Comedy Aesthetics. I’d love another crack at that.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

I’ve had so many bad jobs in my life. The worst was being an underpaid caregiver.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“Your cats are here.”

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